A Book Review–
Woodson Center started in l981 by Robert L. Woodson. This organization helps residents of low-income neighborhoods. They send me their email. I learned about Voices of Black Mothers United from the Woodson Center email. Voices of Black Mothers United helps families deal with losing children to gunshots and works with youth to resolve conflict. They are also active in the community helping people meet basic needs. Their work is so crucial to ending gun violence.
I looked on the Voices of Black Mothers United website and found Bettye Sweet’s book Survivor to Thriver: A Mother’s Journey Toward Peace after her Son’s Murder. I ordered it and read it. I am in awe how Bettye Sweet wrote and published a book within a year after her son was murdered! I lost my parents to murder and was shot 3 times in l975. It took me 25-30 years to write and publish a book.
1. I loved how Bettye Sweet began the book with her journal entries from the early days of recovery. It is so poignant and raw telling how it is at first after losing a family member to murder.
2. Parents of Murdered Children played a role in Bettye’s healing. It played a role in my healing, too. Talking helps the pain. I felt the same way as Bettye Sweet about being depressed about what happened to me and feeling more depressed listening to the horrible stories from the group. I like Bettye Sweet’s suggestion to tell funny stories about loved ones.
3. The Author’s support from Family and Friends is Incredible. Her Support System sustains her.
4. The Emphasis on Forgiveness in the book is so Important. For me I needed my mental health that forgiveness gave.
5. Laughter heals. Recently I read something that made me laugh–“Don’t take yourself so serious. No one else does!”
6. I am impressed with Bettye Sweet’s giving in to tears when they were there instead of being tough. Tears are important for Healing. Holy water I call them.
7. Being Grateful is important to mental health, too. I try to start and end each day with what I am thankful for. Horrible things happen to me but I am surrounded by so many good things. Being grateful keeps my spirit up.
Toward the end of the book sets a collection of poems that could be a book in itself. Bettye Sweet writes
“Poetry is a medium of communication that can be very therapeutic in writing and reading.”
Steven A. Wing’s “Daydreaming” imagines his friend Jason lives still in his dreams. They talk and hang out together like before until writer is called away. Imagining being with our loved ones comforts us. I talk to my parents who were murdered 47+ years ago. People may think I’m crazy but I don’t care. Its perfectly natural to still converse with those we’ve shared life with.
Bettye Sweet dreams being with Jason again in “My Son”. He catches her when she falls. More contact with loved ones gone. Its soothing to honor this relationship.
The writer’s “Strongly Wrong” nails how we can look one way and feel another. We hide behind a happy face when deep inside we feel excruciating pain of loss.
In Teal Henderson’s “Seize the Day” she reminds us to live each day as it is our last day letting us know we may not be here tomorrow.
“Pain” by Tami Water, Godmother, recognizes how pain wanders everywhere and we all feel it one way or the other. No one misses pain. The line “feast of pain” describes it. Poem ends on up note seeing beauty that overcomes pain.
In “To My Angel” Bettye Sweet imagines what her son Jason would have become. Men would be attracted to him because of his character and Women would be attracted to him because of his tenderness. But the most important dream that writer sees is that her son Jason would have become a caring father to his child.
Akila’s “If I” encourages us to live like we will die tomorrow saying I love you, sharing time together and holding each other.
In these poems Bettye Sweet reminds us that every time we think about our loved ones, they are with us. Its very encouraging to know that when I think of my mom and dad, they are with me.
These poems touched me deep inside leaving me nurtured and healing.
From Survivor to Thriver: A Mother’s Journey to Find Peace after Her Son’s Murder
Seven Steps to Becoming a Thriver
- Cry it Out!
- Talk it Out!
- Write it Out!
- Forgive!
- Help Someone!
- Be thankful!
- Prayer!
Survivor to Thriver: A Mother’s Journey Toward Peace After Her Son’s Murder gives valuable tools to come to grips with losing a loved one to gunshots. There is so much that is helpful to survivors in finding a new life after losing a loved one. This book gave me so much. What a gift to violence survivors. Thank you, Bettye Sweet.
You can order Survivor to Thriver: A Mother’s Journey Toward Peace After Her Son’s Murder from Bettye Sweet’s website SweetTruthco.com or from Amazon.
Carol Ruth Dreiling author of Healing from Gun Shots–the trail to re-connect after violence
Website healingfromgunshots.com
Healing from Gun Shots 