Hello Sadness Here you are again. I knew Sad/Fear/Anger/Helpless/Nightmares/Confused Thinking/Tired after losing my folks to murder and being shot 3 times. It went on for years. Eventually brighter days came along leaving the heaviness behind. My life was back to up and down.
In 2021 I published Healing from Gun Shots sharing my journey to heal—the trail to re-connect after violence.
Then Hurricane Helene hit us here in WNC September 27, 2024. Early days after the Shock, survival filled our hours finding water/food/ ice/phone service and gas. Once we got power and water I began to feel the return of Trauma. I felt the heavy Sad/Fear/Anger/Helpless/Nightmares/Confused Thinking/Tired. It was hard to understand. We did not lose loved ones or suffer house or car damage. Why was I feeling the Intense Emotions?
My college classmate wrote on Facebook “You know about Trauma and how long it takes to come out of it.” This helped me understand why I felt the Intense Feelings Again especially the overwhelming Sadness. Yes, I know about Trauma and now experiencing New Trauma brings back the Old. Feeling Sad/ Fear/Anger/Helpless /Nightmares/ Confused Thinking/Tired surrounded me again.
I know losing a loved one once and then another death comes along, we grieve for all loses—Past and Present. I began to realize Trauma is the same. Trauma once. Trauma comes again. And All of the Trauma—Past and Present hits.
We made a recent trip seeing family and hiking in Virginia since we can’t hike here with the forest devastation. I spoke with my niece Joanna about the Trauma. And her comment was, “You read The Body Keeps the Score (by Bessell Van Der Kolk) didn’t you?” This reinforced my new understanding. Yes, what I was feeling was Trauma Returning. I experienced the old Trauma spurred on by the new Trauma from the Hurricane being out of control.
My pet sitting friend told me about a mutual friend who came through the Hurricane. Years ago she lost everything in a Fire. She also experienced the re-occurring Trauma from the past after the Hurricane.
Living in the Hurricane area we continue to see the physical impact of the storm. It is everywhere. I live in Alexander and pass the river every time I go out. I see trees scattered out along the river with pvc pipe from the plant up the river. I see an old house site with no house. There is trash hanging from the trees and bushes showing how high the water level was. I run into roads closed because not safe and bridges too wiped out to cross. WLOS reported on December 6 that 90 bridges were damaged. Traveling on 251 to Asheville or to Marshall I always see big dump trucks carrying rubbish to the Landfill up off of 251. This is over 2 months after the storm.
November 18 Asheville and surrounding areas finally got drinkable water. Before residents got potable water they had to boil the water for it to be safe to consume.
November 13 the Asheville Citizens Times ran a story about a man who is a coach at Reynolds High School. He lost 11 family members. Stories about people found dead down stream continue to be turn up. This adds to the Trauma in the community.
We live in Buncombe County where 100,000 homes were damaged or destroyed affecting 200,000 people reports WLOS on November 7. And this is just Buncombe County. We have a Housing Crisis. Disaster hit September 27 but it continues for those who can’t live in their homes anymore. Our area struggles to help people get housing again but it is a long and tedious process for many. Some live in tents. Day to day local and out-of-state churches and non-profits are working to help people who lost their homes find housing. Local, state and federal government aid with this effort. Losing loved ones and losing your home creates a continued Disaster Relief Area for many people.
The Past Trauma and living in the storm area are Overwhelming feelings to remind me I experience Trauma from the past propelled by the Trauma from the Hurricane.
Surrounded by the Darkness of Trauma
I put one foot in from of the other
Catching glimpses of Light
Healing from Gun Shots 