“Forgiveness and Compassion”

The Essential Way to Live

By Andre Smith

I know Andre Smith though the North Carolina Coalition for Alternatives to the Death Penalty. As members of the Family Survivor group with the coalition we have met for over 4 years to use our strong voice to end executions. I’d like to share this review of Andre’s book.

        As a Buddhist the writer Andre Smith teaches classes to the incarcerated. At the start of his classes he says,

“I know 2 things about you.

You don’t want to suffer

You want to be happy.”

        Andre lost his son to murder in 2007. It’s easy to feel anger/revenge/hate toward the predator or stay depressed. Andre chose to forgive the killer and live to heal and find joy.

        From Desmond Tutu’s book “The Book of Forgiveness: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World”

“When we forgive, we take back control of our fate and our feelings. We become our own liberation. We don’t forgive to help the other person. We don’t forgive for others. We forgive for ourselves. Forgiveness, in other words, is the best form of self-interest. This is true spiritually and scientifically.”

        We can chose between happiness and suffering. Quote from book “Firstly we must recognize that deep within us, we possess as in words of (Buddhist) Rinpoche, supreme immeasurable qualities.”

        I too lost loved ones to murder. I needed to let go of the hate/anger and bitterness for my mental health to heal for selfish reasons. I didn’t need the negative feelings rolling round inside me anymore. Andre calls this enlightened selfishness.

        The writer writes “Forgiveness and Compassion are indeed necessary to our psychological and emotional well-being and that alone make them imperatives.”

        “The one who benefits the most from forgiveness and compassion is the one who offers it”

         Forgiving takes work and time but it opens us up to live again. It’s important to take as long as needed. Eva Kor, Holocaust survivor, chose forgiveness to heal. Happiness comes from within.

        From his belief in Forgiveness and Compassion Andre Smith works to end the death penalty. He believes in giving people a second chance.

        “Forgiveness and Compassion” is a workbook with Meditations to chose from. Here is a list of the Mediations

Forgiveness—when you hurt someone, when you hurt yourself and when someone hurts you.

Equanimity(equal mind)

Happiness

Love

Impermanence

Wise Mind

Peace and Tranquility and Healing

Appreciating Our Human Life

Living Kindness and Compassion

Letting Go

 I have begun using the Mediations and find them helpful. Mediation’s Purpose Trains the Mind. Buddha taught “We are what we think. What we think, we become. All that we are arises with thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.”

Positive Thoughts encourage forgiveness and compassion

Negative Thoughts cause anger, hate and prejudices.

What causes suffering are

Attachments(like clinging)

Anger

Ignorance

Andre Smith writes about how these roadblocks get in our way.

        Life is a gift. We can chose to be happy or suffer.  A nurturing mind helps us appreciate this gift.  We are here due to kindness of others. We couldn’t do it alone. We need each other. Using mindfulness helps us achieve our goal of joy.